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Wit And Banter
Guaranteed to intrigue or my next thought is free!
I'm The Boss, Apple Sauce
About Me
- Joel
- Sandy, Utah, United States
- I am hillarious for starters. I also happen to be a successful father to four sons and married to a BABE of a wife. I was reluctant to start a blog as my random thoughts and musings could be used as political fodder should I ever decide to run for President of The United States. For your amusement and pleasure I've decided to take that risk...
Good Times
Gracie is 3 years old and lives next door to us. She and Jack are like pea's and carrots! They seriously play together for hours and hours every day. Gracie is the daughter that Lisa and I never had. Last week Gracie and I had the following coversation.
Me: Gracie? What color are Jack's eyes?
Gracie *looking at Jack who is batting his eyes at her* "His eyes is brown." (I like how she says "is. His eyes IS brown...)
Me: That's right! And what color are YOUR eyes?
Gracie thinks about this for a second and then opens both of her hands wide open, jams thumbs and index fingers into her sockets and spreads her eyelids completely apart. All I see are white eyeballs staring back at me.
Gracie: "See? My eyes is BLUUUUUUE"
Me *laughing at this 3 year old with huge white eyes*: You got that right! Now, what color are MY eyes?
Gracie releases her eye lids and then walks next to me where I am sittingon a chair. She puts her hands on my cheeks to get a really good look. I can see her *swollen* eyes look at both of mine carefully. She inspects them intently, one then the other...one then the other. I wonder if I am getting an eye exam here. She finally release me from her grasp, claps her hand together and proudly announces "Your eyes is red!"
Me: Gracie? What color are Jack's eyes?
Gracie *looking at Jack who is batting his eyes at her* "His eyes is brown." (I like how she says "is. His eyes IS brown...)
Me: That's right! And what color are YOUR eyes?
Gracie thinks about this for a second and then opens both of her hands wide open, jams thumbs and index fingers into her sockets and spreads her eyelids completely apart. All I see are white eyeballs staring back at me.
Gracie: "See? My eyes is BLUUUUUUE"
Me *laughing at this 3 year old with huge white eyes*: You got that right! Now, what color are MY eyes?
Gracie releases her eye lids and then walks next to me where I am sittingon a chair. She puts her hands on my cheeks to get a really good look. I can see her *swollen* eyes look at both of mine carefully. She inspects them intently, one then the other...one then the other. I wonder if I am getting an eye exam here. She finally release me from her grasp, claps her hand together and proudly announces "Your eyes is red!"
Pigeons AKA People and Places Likely To Crap On You
Chase Bank Whatever money you put in that bank quickly becomes theirs. Use a credit union
Lagoon Gave us a ton of excuses on why they couldn't help our visitors from Kenya.
Arbys & Taco Bell in Draper I weep for the future
US Post Office. Stamps go up another penny. Puh-LEASE!
Riverton Chevrolet. There's a reason they never sell cars.
Harbor Freight. Home of "I don't know, duuuude."
Lagoon Gave us a ton of excuses on why they couldn't help our visitors from Kenya.
Arbys & Taco Bell in Draper I weep for the future
US Post Office. Stamps go up another penny. Puh-LEASE!
Riverton Chevrolet. There's a reason they never sell cars.
Harbor Freight. Home of "I don't know, duuuude."
Eagles AKA People and Places Where I Like To Hang
VistaPrint.com Went the extra mile to make me happy
Abbey @ Lifetime Fitness. My Yoga instructor who is AMAZING. What a gem!
Peakpotentials.com These guys have changed my life.
Su Casa The best waitresses on the planet.
JetBlue. Lots of room, your own tv and friendly staff.
Abbey @ Lifetime Fitness. My Yoga instructor who is AMAZING. What a gem!
Peakpotentials.com These guys have changed my life.
Su Casa The best waitresses on the planet.
JetBlue. Lots of room, your own tv and friendly staff.
My Shelfari Bookshelf
My Posse
The Number Of People Hunting Me
Eagles and Pigeons
Eagles
VistaPrint.com I have been doing business with Vista Print for several years. Last week I ordered 500 custom business cards and I was disappointed with how they turned out. I called and Vista Print UPGRADED my cards, are printing out 500 new ones and only charging me for shipping. GREAT COMPANY!
Abbey @ Lifetime Fitness. From time to time people come into my life and change the way I see and think about things. Abbey is one such person. At a very young 27, Abbey is an amazing instructor full of energy, vitality and wisdom. Her Yoga classes are always packed and I always look forward to the time I get to learn from her. Both Lisa and I are excited to count her as a new friend and are excited to watching her continued success!
Peakpotentials.com They hosted a seminar in Salt Lake City last month and I was so impressed that I flew to Denver to attend their 3 day seminar. It was amazing. I'm trying to find a way to go to some of their other programs.
Su Casa. Jeff Birschbach actually introduced me to this Mexican Restraunt 15 years ago. I had lunch there yesterday. They are located on State Street just south of the Sam's Club off of I-215. The food is good, prices are totally reasonable but best of all the staff there are EXCELLENT. Seriously, the best waitresses in the Rockies.
JetBlue. Finally, an airline that makes sense. Nice seats, friendly staff and your own Satellite TV! Whenever we book flights we always check here first. Ohh and the blue potato chips are cool too.
McCools Pub @ The District in South Jordan. Our waiter Ed, made sure that we got a fresh batch of Fish and Chips when the cornbeef and cabbage turned out average. The Buffalo Shephards Pie is awesome.
Lifetime Fitness. A five star gym with the whole family in mind. By far, the best facility I have ever seen and they cater to the entire family. I love going and the kids do too. Although it's TRIPLE what we paid at Gold's Gym.
Pigeons
Arbys and Taco Bell in Draper If the kids who work here are the future of our country I'm moving to Guam. Guaranteed slow, crappy service, screwed up orders and an inability to make obvious decisions. No matter how far you have to drive to find another restraunt, it will be worth the time and money, plus your taste buds will thank you for it too.
US Post Office. Stamps go up another penny next week. Stop with the friggin penny increases! Just charge 50 cents and be done with it. I hate all of the penny stamps I have to put on my Playboy re-newal cards. It's SO unprofessional.
Riverton Chevrolet. They wanted to pull my credit report "and go over some numbers" before they would let me test drive the 2008 Corvette. Now I understand why I have seen the same cars on their lot for months now.
Harbor Freight on State Street. "Sorry dude, ummm I don't know where that is" is always the WRONG answer. The correct answer is "I'm not sure, let me find someone who knows!" Ohh and it would be nice if the guy un-helping me, had a hair style that alerted me to whether he was a boy or a girl...dude.
VistaPrint.com I have been doing business with Vista Print for several years. Last week I ordered 500 custom business cards and I was disappointed with how they turned out. I called and Vista Print UPGRADED my cards, are printing out 500 new ones and only charging me for shipping. GREAT COMPANY!
Abbey @ Lifetime Fitness. From time to time people come into my life and change the way I see and think about things. Abbey is one such person. At a very young 27, Abbey is an amazing instructor full of energy, vitality and wisdom. Her Yoga classes are always packed and I always look forward to the time I get to learn from her. Both Lisa and I are excited to count her as a new friend and are excited to watching her continued success!
Peakpotentials.com They hosted a seminar in Salt Lake City last month and I was so impressed that I flew to Denver to attend their 3 day seminar. It was amazing. I'm trying to find a way to go to some of their other programs.
Su Casa. Jeff Birschbach actually introduced me to this Mexican Restraunt 15 years ago. I had lunch there yesterday. They are located on State Street just south of the Sam's Club off of I-215. The food is good, prices are totally reasonable but best of all the staff there are EXCELLENT. Seriously, the best waitresses in the Rockies.
JetBlue. Finally, an airline that makes sense. Nice seats, friendly staff and your own Satellite TV! Whenever we book flights we always check here first. Ohh and the blue potato chips are cool too.
McCools Pub @ The District in South Jordan. Our waiter Ed, made sure that we got a fresh batch of Fish and Chips when the cornbeef and cabbage turned out average. The Buffalo Shephards Pie is awesome.
Lifetime Fitness. A five star gym with the whole family in mind. By far, the best facility I have ever seen and they cater to the entire family. I love going and the kids do too. Although it's TRIPLE what we paid at Gold's Gym.
Pigeons
Arbys and Taco Bell in Draper If the kids who work here are the future of our country I'm moving to Guam. Guaranteed slow, crappy service, screwed up orders and an inability to make obvious decisions. No matter how far you have to drive to find another restraunt, it will be worth the time and money, plus your taste buds will thank you for it too.
US Post Office. Stamps go up another penny next week. Stop with the friggin penny increases! Just charge 50 cents and be done with it. I hate all of the penny stamps I have to put on my Playboy re-newal cards. It's SO unprofessional.
Riverton Chevrolet. They wanted to pull my credit report "and go over some numbers" before they would let me test drive the 2008 Corvette. Now I understand why I have seen the same cars on their lot for months now.
Harbor Freight on State Street. "Sorry dude, ummm I don't know where that is" is always the WRONG answer. The correct answer is "I'm not sure, let me find someone who knows!" Ohh and it would be nice if the guy un-helping me, had a hair style that alerted me to whether he was a boy or a girl...dude.