Thursday, September 11, 2008

Now That's Just OFFENSIVE!

A few weeks ago I got an email from my poker group asking me if I wanted to join their Pro Pick 'Em Fantasy Football Team. Pro Pick Em' is nothing like Fantasy Football but it can still be fun at times. So I decided to register and went with my old standby name of 3rd and Schlong. Yes, it makes me laugh too however it appears that not everyone finds the humor in it. Today I received the following email.

"Would you be willing to change your pick set name to include a less sexual connotation? A parent of one of the group members is just concerned with the choice and need of such a name. Please let me know what you think or if you have any questions...
Thanks, Troy Shepherd 801-7XX-6068

Now I don't know Troy, and he surely doesn't know me because we wouldn't be having this conversation if he did. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I will unintentionally offend everyone I meet at least once, and probably a lot more. Do I have a problem with changing the name? Of course not. I certainly don't want to intentionally upset anyone. I prefer to un-intentionally offend people. It makes me look more genuine.

But what annoys me about this request is the lack of accountability. My question is WHO exactly is concerned and why are YOU (Troy) doing THEIR dirty work? Are we in Junior High again? Help me understand why it's impossible to simply discuss this like adults. I'm stunned that I didn't get his request on a folded,piece of lined paper that is passed to me at the lunch table so that the offended author could look on from a distance. This is soooo French! So in my usual way of being a pain in the Heineken, I decided to up the ante and sent the following uncomfortable email back to Troy; "Which parent is offended?"

It will be interesting to see if Troy has the kahunas to "out" the offended. I'm betting he doesn't. The weak and spineless never pony up to confrontation and always feel comfortable pasting the blame on someone else. However, in an effort to be sensitive (and more importantly to let Troy off the hook,) I decided to change my name anyway. I am now listed as The Really Super Silly Clouds. It will be fun to see who catches the sarcasm. I've decided that it's my duty to protest living in a police state and allowing my 1st amendment rights to be assaulted by shadow puppets. I'm sure the lesson to be learned is that I should be more sensitive to other peoples feelings. But having to be sensitive to others peoples feeling makes me sensitive myself, and that, my friends, just OFFENDS me.


Reggs said...

H AH HAHA HA HAH AHA HAHAHAHA!!! I love your new name, that is so freaking funny. "the really super silly clouds".
The best part? This is from a POKER GROUP. Yes, a group of gamblers is offended.

Anonymous said...

Today I received the following email.

Joel, Thanks for the quick response. The parent just asked me to make a request on their behalf. Would you be willing to change the name?

As I predicted, no Kahuna's for Troy. Victory for the The Really Super Silly Clouds!

Abigail said...

Miss you :)

Ali said...

I HATE people like that!! I would've said, "I will change it, once the offended party comes and talks to me directly"

Here's what I don't get, Gambling: frowned upon in the church. Making up silly names relating to a male body part: Not discused in the standard works.

The hypocracy is overwhelming. I need to go lay down.

I say you change it back. And make it dirtier. Like "My Sweaty Ballsack" So there is no doubt what you are talking about. Do it!

Anonymous said...

You should've changed it to 4th and Schlong.....
Love ya, Kaiser

Katrina said...

Or "With Another Man's Balls . . ." which answers the question:

Who you playin'?
What are you up against?