Thursday, July 3, 2008

Happy I'm NOT French!

The 4th of July is by far my favorite holiday. I love it more than Thanksgiving, Christmas and Arbor Day combined. For me, the 4th is the grand opening of summer. Driving with the windows rolled down, outdoor swimming and of course succulent sweet shrimp on the Barbie. I love the smell of freshly cut grass, of planting flowers in the yard and sitting on the back porch with a cold one when the sun starts to go down. I love that at night I can go outside with a t- shirt and shorts on and not be cold. And for those of us in Salt Lake City there is a refreshing chilled breeze that rolls into the valley almost every morning from our snow capped mountains. Yes, Summer is easily my most favorite time of the year.

It's also a cheerful reminder to me that some 200 years ago a bunch of incredibly inspired men wrote a declaration to the King of England in which we basically gave the British the finger. I secretly wonder if there were a couple of them gathered in the corner of Independence Hall giggling and whispering "Ohh man, the King is going to drop a LOAD when he reads THIS! *hushed giggling* In all honesty though, this act of defiance gave our young Nation an identity that exists to this day. As a people, it is ancestorally encoded in our DNA to, well, give the finger! Ok, ok, maybe that is an extreme example but my point is still valid. Whenever American's are stuck with something we don't like, someone inevitably decides that there has got to be a better way and BLAM innovation! Take a few of these examples into consideration. There was the car mass produced by Ford, the Microsoft operating system created by Bill Gates and finally the Democratic Party created by Satan. What a Country!

So it is with great pleasure that I celebrate the 4th of July and give thanks to a God in Heaven that I'm not French. What a worthless lot, the French. Anyway, I do digress... I just wanted to send out a sincere thank you to all of the men and women out there who get up every day and try their best to DO their best. You are the fabric of this Country and I couldn't be more happy than to count myself as one of you (yes, even you John Kerry. Without you there would be no hope for anyone over the age of 400 to ever dream of snowboarding, paragliding, roller blading or immediately surrendering our Country to enemy forces.) Happy 4th of July everyone. May God continue to bless all of us, yes, INCLUDING the French, the Democratic Party and even YOU John Kerry... (ohh and don't forget about Dick Cheney too!)


Chelsea said...

so here's something that should brighten your day: google reader had YOUR BLOG listed in its top recommendations when i signed in today. pretty cool, eh?!

Ali said...

Merci Boo Coo for the bitch slap to France. They can EAT IT. But seriously, where does all this raw hostility towards France come from? I don't knot, but I sure do enjoy it.

And I totally agree with you about the Declaration of Independence=Giving England the finger. Have you heard the story about why John Hancock's signature is so large on it? I was told that he as he did it he said something to the effect of "There!! That should be big enough for 'Blind as a Bat' King George to read". I'm paraphrasing of course, but that was the idea. He did it so big so King George would have no question who's signature that was. That Hancock has balls!! (what do you expect with a name like HANCOCK?)

This concludes the history lesson for the day.

I loved being at your house today!! See you later!

Abigail said...

The 4th is my favorite holiday too!!! I have your cd! I will bring it to class tomorrow!

Dickson Circus said...

I think that John Kerry's look IMPROVED with the beret! He looks like less of an A-HOLE. I actually thought the original name of the democratic party was the "demon-atic party" and the mascot was the forked toothed boar. Am I right on that one? I'll have to google it to be sure. I think they modified it so that we could swing some of those luke warm christians who want to be seen as "young" and "hip" and "buttholes".
Happy 4th! Even to the buttholes!

Lisa said...

I too love the fourth of July. It just isn't complete without a BBQ and traditional American fare. The more people, the better. Of course, you have to end the night by strapping barely legal fireworks onto the back of your children's scooters and bicycles as they ride around the circle whooping and hollering. Good times. Here's my and I grow old, but our papers in to serve a couples mission and "let the Lord decide where he needs us." Three weeks later, we get our call......24 months in PARIS, FRANCE!