Monday, August 4, 2008

Urkel Fashion For Women

This week I came across a website that talks about the then and now of famous people from years ago. Urkel was one of them. I don't think that I ever watched an entire episode of the show he was on, but I do remember his character. I remember that he had an annoying voice, dressed like a complete geek and always wore giant glasses with the granny chain attached to it. Naturally, when I think about Capri's, I think about Urkel.

I will admit that when it comes to fashion I am completely clueless. I couldn't tell you what is in, or more importantly why I should shell out mega bucks to wear it. So please feel free to take this post with a grain of salt. I still have parachute pants and high tops in my closet from 1985.

Part of my fashion fear is that I feel I am being duped by the designers themselves. Have you ever seen the end of a runway show when they bring out the designer for a standing ovation? Inevitably the designer isn't wearing a stitch of clothing from his own line, rather a dark pair of jeans with a black T-shirt. The message to me is "hey pal, I just design this crap, it doesn't mean I have to wear it." I tend to dismiss fashion as a rouse and stick with the jeans and t-shirts myself.

That's why Capri's are a fashion mystery to me, so if anyone can clue me in, I'd appreciate it. Capri's are neither shorts, nor pants. They are more "sh-ants, or p-orts." To me they look like an older sister who got caught raiding a younger sisters closet just to prove she can still stuff those hips into a size 2. Humm, maybe it's an ego thing. OR Capri's solve the problem of showing off to much leg as well as not enough. Either way I don't like them. Capri's remind me of Urkel.

But because "flooding" is a popular look with females, I must be missing something here. I've thought about this for a long time and the only thing that I could come up with is that a woman's comfort zone must be controlled in the back of her calves about half way up. Not the knee and certainly not the ankle, just mid-calf controls the comfort temperature. Or it could be that Capri's are the perfect attire for the undecided and timid. "Well, I don't want to look too casual, and I don't want to be real formal *wringing hands*, so my Capri's should cover me either way. That is probably the safest bet..." Well IMHO the only "safe" thing about them is that they look ridiculous. Come on, take a look at your day and either go ALL the way casual, or ALL the way conservative. Don't be timid, just go for it!

Ladies, I for one, would have a lot more respect if you just picked one and went with it. Believe me, I'd rather have you in a pair of shorts at a cocktail party than in those sh-ants. Capri's are ugly and I would like to vote that they be outlawed, or banned, or burned....maybe banned (but I do like the burned....). Humm, now I can't decided if they should be banned or burned. Since I can't make up my mind, maybe I'll put on a pair of Capri's my self (Man-Pris?) and think about it until I come up with an answer. I'll let you know in a future post on what I have decided, until then I'm going to cut all of my pants at the calf, grab a bowl of popcorn and watch a few episodes of Urkel to get my bearings again.


Danika said...

*cracks knuckles* Oooohkay, lemme give this one a shot. The world of men's fashion is much much easier than a woman's. Casual? T-shirt and jeans. Semi-casual? Khakis and a polo. Professional? Suit and tie. Formal? Tux. Cholo? Oversized shorts and long white socks. Not so easy for us of the fairer sex. There's varying degrees of formality within each of those aforementioned categories.

For me the draw to capris is that they are MODEST and can move from casual to semi-casual with relative ease. Throw on a t-shirt and you are casual. Pair them with a crisp blouse and you pass for semi-casual. You can bend over to pick up your kid as well as sit cross-legged in a boardroom on Friday and not reveal any of Victoria's secrets. And yes, they really ARE that much cooler on a hot summer day. Capris also offer the opportunity to show off some footwear that don't go so well with long pants. Think kitten heels, wedges, mules, platforms and you maybe you can see where I'm coming from. Ahhh yes, another way that women differ from men--FOOTWEAR. You may think that's cursory but I promise you; for a woman shoes are essential.

You're not the first man I've heard criticize the capri. Lots of men also hate the very long cardigan sweaters (they look like robes!). It only makes sense that men would have strong opinions about women's clothing because there are so many varieties out there! Cut us just a little slack eh? We're all just trying our best to look good for you :)

Katrina said...

Accept it before it destroys you! Like Sarah's husband Joe Hunt has done, I suggest you look into a fashion going around that is known as "Man-pries" or capri's for men. What's old is new. Joe wears them! And I saw a guy walking around downtown Phoenix the other day in his. He looked quite modest, and, refreshed. Go ahead, go try some on, and see if you can't end this hate relationship. Can't we all just get along?