I just saw another commercial for a "Certified" pre-owned car program and it reminded me that I had to write about this load o'crap. Why do I need a certificate to know that a car was "pre-owned?" Take a look at the mileage dummy! If it has more than 22 miles on it, there is a good chance that someone else's ass was in YOUR drivers seat. You know what I would appreciate? I would appreciate a full body picture of the previous owner, that would make me feel much better about driving any pre-owned car.
If the mileage confuses you about it being "pre-owned" perhaps you should check the wear on the tires, or that giant coffee stain on the gear shifter. That massive ding on the door and scratched paint MAY have been a freak tornado that just happened to pick the car up and run it 25,000 miles down the road or *ta dah* someone else has been driving it for a few years!
The bottom line is that if someone is advertising a car as "pre-owned" there's a possibility that someone farted on your seat. If they were going to give away certificates, a "no-fart" certificate is one that I would want. "Well sir, this seat has a sniffing sensor that allows us to certify that no one has blue darted on it." Yes Mr. Weasel car salesman, I would like to have THAT certificate in an 8X10 frame. And then I would appreciate a computer print out of each and every time I violate the blue dart sensor. That printout would go in the other 8X10 frame.
So next time someone tells you about their "pre-certified" program you ask them to provide you with a certified Blue Dart Guarantee.